10 Ways to Forgive Yourself
Let’s be honest, self-forgiveness is hard. Especially for women who’ve spent a lifetime being everything to everyone. We replay the things we said, the choices we made, the moments we didn’t know better… and then punish ourselves for not being perfect.
But here’s the truth: you cannot keep healing while dragging guilt behind you like a ball and chain. Forgiving yourself isn’t weakness…it’s freedom. And you deserve to be free.
Here are 10 powerful ways to finally let yourself off the hook and start living again:
1. Acknowledge the Hurt Without Sugarcoating It
You don’t need to minimize your mistakes or pretend it didn’t happen. Say it out loud: “I messed up. I hurt someone. I hurt myself.” Owning the truth is the first step toward healing. You don’t have to defend yourself, just face it honestly.
2. Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love
You wouldn’t shame your best friend for her past. You’d remind her she’s human, growing, learning. Start offering yourself the same compassion. That inner critic? Yeah, she’s fired.
3. Release the Perfectionism
You are not here to get life “right.” You are here to learn, stumble, grow, and evolve. Mistakes aren’t proof that you’re broken, they’re proof that you’re trying. And trying deserves grace, not guilt.
4. Make Amends When You Can
If there’s a conversation to be had, have it. If you can’t say sorry to the person, write a letter and burn it. Apologies don’t always guarantee reconciliation, but they do guarantee growth.
5. Recognize What You’ve Learned
Don’t just sit in shame, squeeze the wisdom out of it. What did the experience teach you about your needs, your boundaries, your patterns? Turn your pain into purpose.
6. Let Go of Who You Were
You’re allowed to outgrow the version of you who made that mistake. She didn’t know what you know now. She didn’t have the clarity you have today. Honor her, thank her, and then let her go.
7. Write Yourself a Forgiveness Letter
Yes, really. Sit down with pen and paper and write:
“I forgive you for…”
Let it pour out. Get messy. Cry if you need to. This isn’t about being eloquent. It’s about being real. Let it be a release.
8. Challenge the Shame Narratives
Ask yourself: “Who told me I had to be perfect to be lovable?”
Then kindly, fiercely, remind yourself: you’re allowed to be flawed. You are still worthy. Shame does not get to be the narrator of your life anymore.
9. Create a Ritual of Release
Light a candle. Burn the guilt-letter. Say a prayer. Dance it out. Do something physical that symbolizes letting go. Your body holds onto guilt too—so move it out.
10. Remember: You Are Still Becoming
You are not your past. You are not stuck in that one moment. You are a whole, growing, layered, beautiful woman in process. You don’t need to punish yourself to prove you’ve changed. Healing is proof enough.
Final Thoughts: Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting. It’s about choosing not to carry the weight anymore. You can’t change what happened, but you can decide that it will no longer define you.
So, go ahead—release it. You’re allowed to move forward. You’re allowed to feel light again. And you’re allowed to love yourself, fully, even after everything.
Want to go deeper in your healing journey?
Book a one-on-one coaching session with me and let’s work through the guilt, the shame, and the stories that no longer serve you.
You don’t have to walk through it alone.
Contact me today here to schedule your free consultation.
Jill K Schmidt
