5 Reasons to Ignore Opinions & Judgement

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It took me 52 years to realize I was in control of whether someone’s comments affected me or not. I’m hoping you’re younger than I am but even if you're not, we can learn at any age!

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN

1.) MINDNG YOUR OWN BUSINESS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN OPINIONS.

How many times did we hear that as a kid? If you’re like me, you thought it meant to just stay out of other people’s lives. What we missed was the importance of focusing on your own business. When we’re truly engaged in our own lives, it’s nearly impossible to find time to invite negative opinions into your head space. Working on projects, hobbies and goals that make you feel accomplished boost your self-confidence. The more self-assured we are, the less likely it is that others’ opinions will bother us.

2.) IT’S NOT REALLY ABOUT YOU.

In his best-selling book, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz says, “Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.” It can be hard to put our egos aside, trust me I know. But when you shift your mindset and understand people’s actions are based on their issues, it’s much easier to not take rude comments or shitty opinions personally. Think about when you’ve been snappy or even rude to someone. I’m going to bet your negative opinion had more to do with your mood than it did the person you approached like a fire breathing dragon, right?

3.) YOU’RE PROBABLY OVER-THINKING.

Overthinking is like deciding to play the same song over and over for 3 days straight. It’s maddening. Well, unless you’re a teenager (or me playing Taylor Swift songs), then it’s pure bliss! When we overthink we spend wasted hours trying to deceiver what someone else’s intentions were. If you’re uncertain and feel like your life can’t go on without an answer…ask them. A nonconfrontation conversation where you are open to hearing why they voiced the opinion that bothered you should clear things up. While listening to their answer, remember number two, it’s about them not you.

4.) YOU’RE CHOOSING AN OPINION OVER BEING YOURSELF.

When we validate an opinion that we don’t agree with by putting action behind it, we are self-sabotaging ourselves. You're basically telling yourself “Ya she’s right, I look like a marshmallow in this puffy jacket”. You are telling yourself that you made a stupid choice when in fact you purchased the jacket, chose the career or took the trip because it was something you wanted. Choose to honor yourself, not an opinion.

5.) THERE’S A PERSON BEHIND THE OPINION.

Behind every opinion is person that we either don’t know, don’t like, is a friend, lover or a family member. Taking a moment to acknowledge this gives you opportunity to choose the value of the judgment you’ve received. If you genuinely care about this person, either because they’re a family member or a close friend, you might think about what they’ve said and consider the reason behind it. On the other hand, is there really value in the opinion of someone you dislike or don’t even know? Likely not.

As a former insecure over-thinking woman, I understand getting easily offended and allowing someone’s opinion to get in your head. I’ve spent countless hours mastering my emotional intelligence skills and it’s been one of the greatest gifts I could ever give myself and my family. Q

With practice you’ll remember that you are in control of whether something bothers you or not. Will you always remember? Of course not. I’ve certainly slipped up with a reaction a time or two. The difference is now I quickly catch myself and change my perspective on the opinion based on the five steps above.

BONUS! - the more you take control of your mindset and choose to ignore negativity, the higher your self-confidence grows. This in itself is a grand gift to yourself and those around you.

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I’m glad you’re here,

Jill K Schmidt