5 Reasons the Universe Sends You Someone You Can’t Be With

It always starts the same way, doesn’t it?

You meet someone, and something in you just lights up.

They say one sentence, and your soul answers back, “Oh… there you are.”

The connection feels fated—almost too good to be real. You find yourself replaying every conversation, every touch, every glance, because somehow it all feels like it means something.

And maybe it does.

But then, just as quickly as it arrived, reality steps in—circumstances, distance, timing, another relationship, or maybe just a quiet knowing that something isn’t right. Suddenly, you’re left standing there, trying to make sense of why the universe would send you someone who feels like home… only to remind you they aren’t yours to keep.

If you’ve ever loved someone you couldn’t have, you already know how hauntingly beautiful and frustrating it is. You question everything—your intuition, your worth, your timing, your idea of destiny itself.

But here’s the truth most people don’t realize: sometimes the universe doesn’t send that person to stay. It sends them to shake you awake.

Here are five reasons the universe might send you someone you can’t be with—and why that connection still matters more than you think.

1. To Remind You What You’re Capable Of Feeling

Sometimes we’ve gone so long being numb that we forget what it’s like to feel deeply again.

That connection—no matter how short-lived—reminds you that you can feel butterflies, curiosity, passion, and hope. It wakes up the parts of your heart that went quiet.

They weren’t meant to stay. They were meant to remind you that you’re still alive—and love still lives inside you.

2. To Show You What You Deserve (and What You Don’t)

Not every “almost” relationship is a punishment. Some are a mirror.

You may see how good it felt to be seen, heard, and understood—and realize you’ve been settling for less in the past. Or you may notice red flags you ignored before and finally say, “Nope, not doing that again.”

The universe sometimes sends the wrong person wrapped in all the right feelings just to help you clarify your standards.

3. To Teach You the Power of Letting Go

Oof—this is the hardest one. Because when the heart wants what it wants, logic doesn’t stand a chance.

But letting go of someone you can’t have is a spiritual lesson in trust. It’s learning to release what you love and still believe that something better is coming.

It’s the moment you stop chasing closure and start choosing peace.

4. To Shift You Onto a New Path

Sometimes that person was never meant to be your destination—they were your detour.

They came into your life to steer you toward something bigger. Maybe they inspired your healing journey, gave you the courage to start over, or opened your eyes to what you truly want in love and life.

Not every connection is about romance. Some are catalysts.

5. To Prepare You for the Real Thing

The person you can’t have often becomes the teacher that gets you ready for the one you can.

You learn how to communicate better, love with boundaries, and protect your peace.

You begin to understand what healthy love actually feels like—and you refuse to accept anything less moving forward.

That’s growth. That’s evolution.

Final Thoughts

When the universe sends you someone you can’t be with, it’s not to break your heart—it’s to break it open.

You’re being guided toward something greater: a version of yourself who no longer confuses chemistry for connection, or longing for love.

So, instead of asking, “Why couldn’t we be?” ask, “What did this teach me?”

Because sometimes the person you couldn’t keep was the reason you finally became who you were always meant to be.

If this message hit home, it’s because you’re ready to stop asking why it happened and start discovering what’s next for you.

In my Thriving After 40 program, I guide women just like you through the process of rebuilding confidence, releasing what no longer serves them, and stepping fully into the next beautiful chapter of their lives.

You’ve spent enough time surviving.

It’s time to start thriving—and you don’t have to do it alone.

Contact me today for more information on Thriving After 40 — and let’s create the life and love you truly deserve.

Jill Katherine Schmidt - Certified Life Coach