As a recovering over-thinker and planner, I know all too well the mental and physical health issues frustration can cause. While frustration is a natural part of our lives, and we can limit our exposure to certain triggers, it’s never possible to eliminate frustration and disappointments entirely from our lives.

I’ve created a list of 8 strategies that I’ve used over the last year to help manage frustration. I’ve noticed a significant change in my overall health and lost 34 pounds using these strategies!

I hope you find these mindful tips useful in your own life and feel better prepared when life throws you an unexpected curve ball.

1. Practice mindfulness

I’m going to be honest here, before I embarked on my “Come to Jesus” journey with myself, I thought the term mindfulness was just an internet buzz word for monks practicing yoga. Seriously, I had no clue the power that practicing being mindful would bring to my life.

Practicing mindfulness helps you develop inner calm that can ease feelings of anger, anxiety or other signs of frustration. It’s incredibly empowering. It helps us stop and pause so we can respond instead of reacting. Who wouldn’t want that?

It encourages you being present focusing on your current surroundings rather than worrying about the future or past. You don’t need special training to practice it. I began my mindfulness journey by reading “Don’t Believe Everything You Think” and it was a game changer for me. I also started with these simple mindful habits:

Reminding yourself to stay in the present moment. If you’re washing dishes, focus only on washing the dishes. Talking with a friend? Focus only on the conversation.
Eating mindfully - Eliminate distractions while eating including your phone, conversations and tv. I thought this sounded silly at first but not only does it help with being mindful it helps you realize when you’re full!
Start a gratitude journal - Take time to list 5 things you’re grateful for every day. I do this every morning and every night.
Pay attention to your breathing and practice controlled breathing. This one is still my biggest challenge. I keep the book “Breath” as a reference and practice in the evenings before bed. Who would think learning to breath better would be such a challenge?

2. Draw on social support

Talking to trusted friends and family members can help you navigate frustrating situations. Expressing our feelings in crucial in maintaining overall wellness during challenging times.

I’ve found that it’s important to choose someone that isn’t personally involved in the situation. Let’s say you’re frustrated with a co-worker. If you discuss it with someone who dislikes that person, the feedback you receive is most likely going to be biased. Talking with someone that has no ball in the game is more likely to result in receiving a different perspective.

Connecting with others provides you with important emotional and psychological benefits. According to a Psychiatry study, social support helps people cope more effectively with stress and improves emotional well-being. As you can see, isolating when frustrated is not ideal.

3. Identify and re-frame negative thoughts

When you’re frustrated, your mind can take over with negative thoughts. Identifying those unhelpful thoughts is the first step to ending them. Have you ever been late for a meeting and your mind instantly adds 29 others negative things that can happen because your late? You going to get fired, your child’s Teacher is going to think you’re a bad parent, there won’t be anywhere to park…it can be never ending.

In the book “Don’t Believe Everything You Think”, author Joseph Nguyen helps us discover the root cause of all psychological and emotional suffering and how to achieve freedom of mind to effortlessly create the life you've always wanted to live.

How do you re-frame? You shift your perspective on the situation. In the example above, you put a positive spin on it: The universe was helping you avoid the timing of an accident so you’re late but you’re safe. Pretty effective difference isn’t it?

4. Engage in stress-relieving activities

Holding frustration inside doesn’t do you any good. Those feelings of anger and irritability may take a toll on your emotional or physical health when you bottle them up. Finding ways to ease stress helps release pent-up energy and frustration so you can move forward. And not repel others from wanting to be around you.

What can you do to relieve stress? By now I’m sure you know that physical activity helps reduce stress, so add exercise to your daily routine. You can go for walks, lift weights, or even dance around your living room to stay physically active. No need to run marathons, any physical activity is beneficial.

It’s also helpful to make time for hobbies like drawing, gardening, photography, or whatever interests you. Hobbies can give you a creative outlet for easing frustration and stress — while also learning new skills.

5. Try relaxation techniques

Finding ways to relax can help break the over-thinking hold frustration has over you. When you’re frustrated, being able to calm down isn’t always easy. This one is another challenge for me as my old go-to was to be overly busy to avoid whatever was frustrating me.

These relaxation techniques are simple to implement to calm your body and mind during frustrating moments or situations.

Take long slow deep breaths - As you breathe, gently disengage your mind from distracting thoughts and sensations.
Body Scan - After a few minutes of deep breathing, you focus on one part of the body or group of muscles at a time and mentally releasing any physical tension you feel there.
Guided imagery - For this technique, you conjure up soothing scenes, places, or experiences in your mind to help you relax and focus.
Mindfulness meditation. Find a quiet place, sit comfortably, focusing on your breathing, and bring your mind's attention to the present moment. If you catch yourself drifting into overthinking, bring your thoughts back to the present moment.

6. Journal

I know keeping a journal is recommended in several of my articles. There’s a simple reason for that - it works! Writing in a journal lets you get your thoughts and feelings out, process them, and (bonus) discover hidden feelings.

A study published in a 2020 issue of The Permanente Journal shows that writing can be an effective way to reduce stress and improve emotional wellness.

So, give it a try! Grab a pen and paper, your favorite journal or open a blank document on your laptop or phone. There is no right or wrong way to journal. You can start small and just fill a few lines of the page. You can find my favorite spiral journal here. It comes in a rainbow of colors!

7. Prioritize proper sleep

You know those tired days where EVERYTHING gets on your nerves from the cat’s meow to your phone ringing? We want to minimize those. When you’re not well rested normal day-to-day occurrences can become triggers for frustration.

That being said, we know getting proper sleep is often easier said than done. As an insomniac I know the struggle is real.

I’ve made some changes that have reduced my up until 3 a.m. or later nights. I’ll share them here in hopes they help you do the same.

I keep my room cool and dark, decorated in soothing colors, stop screen time (including television) an hour before bed, read for a minimum of 30 minutes and practice mindful breathing as soon as I lay down. On nights my normal routine doesn’t work, I play a sleep meditation. You can find them for free on YouTube.

8. Maintain a daily self-care routine

You know the drill; take good care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually, and in your relationships. But do you do it daily? Focusing on your own well-being helps you set boundaries to avoid being frustrated and helps keep your mind focused on other things when you’re annoyed.

Make self-care part of your daily routine. We all have different ways of practicing self-care. Add things to your daily routine that make you feel good. Whether you enjoy taking a long walk, a warm bath or hitting the gym. Make time daily to do something that is just for you.

Frustration can take over your day and even become overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. With the tips above you can kick frustrating thoughts out of your mind and carry on with your day.

If you found this article helpful, please leave a comment and share it with a friend.

I’m glad you’re here,

Jill Schmidt

Sources:

Ayala, E. E., Winseman, J. S., Johnsen, R. D., & Mason, H. R. C. (2018). U.S. medical students who engage in self-care report less stress and higher quality of life. BMC Medical Education, 18(1).

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Saghir, Z., Syeda, J. N., Muhammad, A. S., & Abdalla, T. H. B. (2018). The amygdala, sleep debt, sleep deprivation, and the emotion of anger: a possible connection? Cureus.

Scott, A., Webb, T. L., James, M. M., Rowse, G., & Weich, S. (2021). Improving sleep quality leads to better mental health: A meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials. Sleep Medicine Reviews, 60, 101556.

Social support and resilience to stress: from neurobiology to clinical practice. (2007, May 1). PubMed.

Thoele, D. G., Gunalp, C., Baran, D., Harris, J., Moss, D., Donovan, R., Li, Y., & Getz, M. A. (2020). Health care practitioners and families Writing Together: The Three-Minute Mental Makeover. The Permanente Journal, 24(1).

Van Der Zwan, J. E., De Vente, W., Huizink, A. C., Bögels, S. M., & De Bruin, E. I. (2015). Physical activity, mindfulness meditation, or heart rate variability biofeedback for stress reduction: a randomized controlled trial. Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback, 40(4), 257–268.

8 Mindful Ways to Deal With Frustration