WHY DO YOU KEEP CHOOSING THINGS THAT DON’T MAKE YOU HAPPY?
If you're reading this, chances are you've found yourself in a familiar, yet disheartening cycle. You keep choosing paths, relationships, or situations that leave you feeling unfulfilled, unhappy, and stuck. But why does this pattern persist?
Why do we continue to make choices that don't align with our happiness and well-being?
Today, let's delve into the depths of this dilemma, unravel its complexities, and most importantly, uncover strategies to break free from this cycle.
Understanding the Cycle
It's essential to recognize that this pattern is not uncommon. Many individuals, regardless of their background or experiences, find themselves trapped in a cycle of discontentment. But what fuels this repetitive behavior?
Familiarity Bias:
Human beings are creatures of habit, drawn to the familiar even if it's detrimental. We often gravitate towards what we know, even if it doesn't serve our highest good.
This familiarity bias can lead us to repeat past patterns, even when they're harmful. Familiarity bias keep you stuck in jobs you dislike, in unhealthy relationships and even living somewhere that doesn’t feel like home.
Low Self-Esteem:
Self-esteem plays a pivotal role in decision-making. When we have low self-esteem, we may settle for less than we deserve, convincing ourselves that we aren't worthy of true happiness or fulfillment. This can result in a cycle of choosing situations that reinforce our negative self-perception.
Self confidence is the foundation for making self-serving choices, taking chances that lead to new opportunities and creating boundaries that protect your peace. We all know someone that seems to have the best luck in the world. It’s not luck, it’s confidence!
Fear of Change:
Change is inherently uncomfortable and uncertain. The fear of stepping into the unknown can paralyze us, causing us to cling to familiar but unfulfilling circumstances.
We may convince ourselves that the discomfort of change outweighs the dissatisfaction of staying the same.
External Validation:
Society often bombards us with unrealistic standards of success, beauty, and happiness. We may chase external validation, seeking approval and acceptance from others at the expense of our own happiness.
This can lead to choices that prioritize others' expectations over our authentic desires.
Breaking Free from the Cycle
Now that we've shed light on the underlying factors contributing to this cycle, let's explore empowering strategies to break free and cultivate a life filled with genuine joy and fulfillment.
Cultivate Self-Awareness:
Start by examining your thoughts, emotions, and patterns of behavior with compassionate curiosity. Journaling, therapy, or mindfulness practices can help you uncover underlying beliefs and motivations driving your choices.
Challenge Limiting Beliefs:
Identify and challenge any limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in a cycle of unhappiness. Replace negative self-talk with affirmations that affirm your worthiness and potential for happiness.
Prioritize Self-Care:
Nourish your mind, body, and soul with acts of self-care and self-compassion. Set boundaries, honor your needs, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Embrace Change:
Embrace the discomfort of change as an opportunity for growth and transformation. Step out of your comfort zone, take calculated risks, and trust in your ability to navigate life's uncertainties.
Cultivate Authentic Connections:
Surround yourself with supportive, nurturing relationships that uplift and inspire you. Seek out communities or support groups where you can authentically express yourself without fear of judgment.
Set Intentions:
Intentionally choose paths and relationships that align with your values, passions, and aspirations. Clarify your vision for the future and take intentional steps towards creating a life that reflects your authentic self.
It’s so important to remember that you possess the power to break free from the cycle of unhappiness and create a life filled with purpose, passion, and joy.
It may require courage, self-reflection, and perseverance, but know that you are worthy of every ounce of happiness that life has to offer.
Trust in your inner wisdom, embrace the journey of self-discovery, and never underestimate the transformative power of choosing happiness. If you don’t know where to start, sign up for the FREE newsletter and reach out - let’s get you headed in the right direction!
I’m Glad You’re Here,
Jill Schmidt
References:
Seligman, M. E. P. (2011). Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being. Free Press.
Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Avery.
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. HarperCollins.