How To Let Go After a Breakup: From Heartbreak To Healing

Hey there, friend! I’m assuming if you’re reading this article, you’re looking for some help with letting go after a breakup. As someone who's ended a relationship with someone I still love, I'm here to lend a friendly hand and share some insights on how to navigate the journey of letting go after a breakup.

I’m not going to tell you healing after a break up is easy. It’s not. However, when you use the experience as an opportunity to become a better version of yourself, on the other side of healing is a higher level of self care and confidence.

Acknowledge Your Emotions: Whether it's sadness, anger, or confusion, give yourself permission to embrace your emotions without judgment. You need to sit with each feeling and process it to move onto the next one. If you need to cry for a week, do it. If you’re filled with anger, express it to a trusted friend or let it out in a journal.

The important part of acknowledging your emotions is to “feel and heal”. Sitting in your emotions too long is counterproductive and not healing them is self sabotage.

Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the kindness you would offer a friend going through a tough time. Take time alone, prioritize self-care, and understand that healing doesn't happen overnight. You're going to be okay, and you deserve all the self-love in the world.

While many books and experts may recommend not isolating yourself, I did the opposite. When I ended my relationship I actually left the state as well. I knew myself enough to know if I didn’t put a lot of space between us, I would keep going back to him. Space and being alone to work on myself worked for me.

Only you will know what’s best for you. If you try isolating yourself and you’re depressed, you need to gather some friends to help you while you’re healing. Likewise, if being around other people is annoying or triggering for you, take time alone.

Reflect on the Relationship: It’s extremely important to take time to honestly reflect on the relationship. Think about the good, the not-so-good, and the bad. What have you learned? What role did you play in the bad? Be honest with yourself and ask “how did I feel the majority of the time with this person?”

Reflection is key to gaining closure and moving forward. When we’re honest with ourselves there will be memories that you know are unhealthy. There will also be a realization of the unhealthy trait(s) you need to work on while you’re healing.

Set Boundaries: Creating some boundaries is crucial for your well-being. Set clear boundaries with your family and friends. You don’t need to hear what your ex is doing, where he was last Friday or what anyone thinks about you. Trust me, hearing that my ex took a “friend” of mine out just two weeks after I left was NOT helpful.

This is your chance to reclaim control over your life, heal your past and become whomever you want to be. The constant interruption of igniting negative emotions will only slow down the healing process.

Lean on Support Systems: Reach out to your trusted friends, family, or someone you trust. Having a positive support system can make a world of difference. Share your feelings, let them in, and allow their support to lift you up during this challenging time. It’s absolutely okay to ask for help.

Focus on Self-Development: Redirect the energy you were putting into the relationship into personal growth. Engage in activities that bring you joy, pursue hobbies, and focus on what makes you feel happy. Is there something you’ve always wanted to do that you were afraid to try? Now is the time to try them.

As someone who loves to write, sharing my journey was (and continues to be) therapeutic. What was an extremely painful moment in my life became something that helps other women leave unhealthy relationships, heal, and grow their confidence. What a shift in perspective that was for me.

Embrace the Power of Forgiveness: I’m sure you’ve heard “forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” I don’t think I really understood the power of that phrase until I forgave my ex, and more importantly myself. You have to forgive to let go and move forward.

It's not about condoning their actions; it's about freeing yourself from resentment. Forgive yourself and your ex – it's a powerful step towards finding inner peace.

Seek Professional Guidance: If it all feels too much, consider talking to a professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, gain insights, and develop coping mechanisms. Therapy is also beneficial if you have wounds from your past to heal. There’s something extremely liberating about telling someone that isn’t part of your social circle everything about yourself without the worry of any judgement.

Listen, I know the emotional ups and downs you’re experiencing and it hurts my heart that anyone has to experience the pain of letting go. I promise you are stronger than you feel at this very moment and one day soon this experience is all going to make sense.

The universe has a way of doing us a favor when we’re heading in the wrong direction. Don’t fight it. You’re going to come out of this a stronger woman than you were before and you’re going to attract a stronger man.

You've got the strength within you to come out of this with intention.

If you’ve found value in this article, please take a moment and leave me a comment. I’d also like to invite you to sign up for my weekly inspiration email, let’s stay in touch!

I’m glad you’re here,

Jill Schmidt